Someone wise once said that life doesn’t come with a manual, it comes with a Mother! I would add, ‘especially for a first daughter’. I honestly couldn’t agree more, especially now that adulting is catching up with me in all aspects! Not to say that I didn’t see this when younger, but I guess the emotions during teenage-hood terribly cloud one’s sense of judgement. It was only after those teenage scales fell from my eyes that I fully grasped the importance of everything she did. As a normal teen, there were days I felt my mom didn’t understand me, and her “no-mediocrity” stance felt too strict. But from her firm character, I learnt the value of discipline and excellence in all areas of my life.
Mom and I have been close since forever but our lifelong friendship has grown stronger with time. Our bond truly blossomed when I went to high school and we could only see each other once every three months. Later, I went to a university miles away from home, and visits became even rarer. However, the further apart we were, the closer our bond grew, and the two of us began sounding like siblings on phone rather than mother-daughter. I guess absence truly does make the heart grow fonder🥹.
Growing up, mom didn’t have the luxury of being a stay-at-home parent because she was our sole provider. This meant that she had to work her fingers to the bone and there were crazy weeks where she was away from home, engaged at a workshop or seminar somewhere in the country. However, she always made sure she was up to date with my academic, spiritual and social life. She actually got me my first phone when I was about nine years old so that we would be able to catch up on long calls those times she was away. When she was home, we’d have “girl dates” for ice cream or fries, and she’d always insist that I bring all my friends home so she could get to know them. Transparency and commitment to family was a lesson she taught through her actions.
Additionally, she gave me books that were well ahead of my time. This books equipped me with knowledge on topics ranging from the female body to the effects of female genital mutilation, early marriage, rights of the child, and even sex education. The most profound of these was a small booklet on the rights of a child. I carried that booklet with me everywhere, even to school and used it to defend my classmates and I against severe corporal punishment. Many of my teachers in lower primary school thought I would become a lawyer or a human rights activist. The apple, it seems, doesn’t fall far from the tree. As a social worker, my mom’s job has always been to ensure that children’s rights are taken into consideration to the letter, and some parents have found themselves in hot soup for negligence or abandoning their children. Through her work, I learnt that it is my responsibility to stand for what is right.
As the weeks lead up to my mom’s birthday, I can’t help but reflect on all the different ways she has impacted my life. This is just the first chapter in a series of tributes dedicated to the woman I love so much. Each entry will highlight a lesson from Mom, a memory, or moment that shaped who I am today.